Is Zack a dad? NO
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Mission controlPaternity Detection System · Mk IV
Mission control
Telemetry: standing by · Served from CMH · Build 180be163
CH-01 Greeting
Hello, visitor from Columbus, the United States.
Your browser speaks English, so the answer is simply no.
It is in London, where the answer is kept.
CH-02 Audience
0
people are anxiously refreshing this page right now.
CH-03 Checks
46
checks so far. The answer has been NO every time.
CH-04 Countdown
Due date
Classified
No due date on file, so the countdown is standing by.
The answer last changed UK time.
CH-05 You
?
We count how often you check, on your device only.
CH-06 7-day dad forecast
- Today 7 Nov Fog: no due date on file Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Tomorrow 8 Nov Fog: no due date on file Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Mon 9 Nov Fog: no due date on file Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Tue 10 Nov Fog: no due date on file Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Wed 11 Nov Fog: no due date on file Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Thu 12 Nov Fog: no due date on file Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Fri 13 Nov Fog: no due date on file Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
Probability that the baby arrives on each day, given that it hasn't already. Issued by the Met Office of Paternity. Not affiliated with any actual meteorologists.
- Today 7 Nov Red warning: dad imminent, take cover Chance of becoming a dad: 95%
- Tomorrow 8 Nov Scattered nappies Chance of becoming a dad: 5%
- Mon 9 Nov Mostly sunny, isolated twinges Chance of becoming a dad: <1%
- Tue 10 Nov Rainbows: almost certainly a dad by then Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Wed 11 Nov Rainbows: almost certainly a dad by then Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Thu 12 Nov Rainbows: almost certainly a dad by then Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Fri 13 Nov Rainbows: almost certainly a dad by then Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
Probability that the baby arrives on each day, given that it hasn't already. Issued by the Met Office of Paternity. Not affiliated with any actual meteorologists.
- Today 7 Nov Clear skies: already a dad Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Tomorrow 8 Nov Clear skies: already a dad Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Mon 9 Nov Clear skies: already a dad Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Tue 10 Nov Clear skies: already a dad Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Wed 11 Nov Clear skies: already a dad Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Thu 12 Nov Clear skies: already a dad Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
- Fri 13 Nov Clear skies: already a dad Chance of becoming a dad: 0%
Probability that the baby arrives on each day, given that it hasn't already. Issued by the Met Office of Paternity. Not affiliated with any actual meteorologists.
CH-07 Biometrics
Fruit telemetry unavailable. The baby's size is, for now, unknowable.
Fruit telemetry unavailable. The baby's size is, for now, unknowable.
The baby is no longer measured in fruit. The baby is measured in nappies per day.
CH-08 Readiness
Readiness unknown. The checklist is still being drawn up.
CH-09 Morale
0
good vibes sent to Jess & Zack so far. None have been noticed, all are appreciated.
CH-10 Dispatches
CH-11 Instruments
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